Over recent years, the U.S. murder rate has had a phenomenal drop. The nation's crack social scientists have been at a complete loss to explain why exactly this has occurred.
This author though suggests the drop may have been caused by Americans choosing to use a different web browser than Microsoft's Internet Explorer. (h/t - click on chart to enlarge; source of chart)
Intuitively, this makes sense as IE has a long history of being easily infected by vicious malware and viruses, which then infects the user's PC, then leading the virus to jump to the human user, thus making them boiling mad and robustly violent.
But...regardless of how strong this correlation appears, this is a case of an obvious correlation not being interpreted correctly.
Instead, as everyone knows, and the mainstream press reminds us on a daily basis, dirty fossil fuels and human CO2 emissions are the underlying cause of global warming, which ultimately is truly responsible for any and all climate/culture change (even prostitution!).
So...although a strong case can be made for the Microsoft IE-murder connection, the above chart with updated CO2 levels reveals best how one should "scientifically" connect-the-dots, using the science of mainstream journalism.
The journalists' methodology of science makes this rather easy: higher CO2 levels must make Americans more sleepy because the atmosphere's concentration of oxygen has dropped, due to being displaced by CO2 molecules. When Americans are sleepy, the gun-crazed violence trait is mitigated.
Thus, to make a gun-loving Americans less violent (and despite the personal efforts of the best gun salesman ever) it is absolutely necessary that the Keystone Pipeline be built so there will be more CO2 - the correlation science could not be clearer, no?
Shouldn't all American journalists be demanding the immediate building of the CO2-spewing Keystone Pipeline in order to save the children? /sarc off
Hmmm...on second thought, maybe Keystone won't do the job to quell American violence any further after all.